did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
