i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
