Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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