i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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