I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
that may or may not have been my penis.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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