eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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