I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
