I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
