God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
