meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
