You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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