I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
did you just send me my own nude
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
