its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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