im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Green mimosas i think yes
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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