Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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