It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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