"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
