Pregnant stripper...not hot.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
