zippers are such a cool invention
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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