he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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