you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
