It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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