Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
