I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
