Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
