Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
