is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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