Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Panties = found
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
