So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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