did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
