that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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