So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
