from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
