dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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