we're blogging at a bar
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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