Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
