Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
