I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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