I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
