New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
