Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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