My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
