Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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