he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
