cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
