I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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