He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
