I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
