That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
