we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
