He disabled his match.com account in front of me
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
