i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Someone came in the potted fern
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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